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Hi there guys,

Oké, I'll be getting straight to the point here. On our school we have billingual education, that's why my English vocabulary level is above my actual age, and we also have to do many presentations. Those presentations also include speeches, like the one you will be able to read below, and then after doing those speeching in class, a couple are elected to perform on the stage to 300 people (opposed to the classe's 22, teacher included) and the winner goes to the regional rounds and after that to the national. If you win the national you win 100 euro's (which i think is something more than 150 US Dollars). So you can imagine that I want to compeet in the contest and try to win and get that 150 bucks.

Now the thing is, we had 2 subjects... I thought, well why don't to crazy stuff and combine those 2 topics into 1 topic? So there I went... Now in the title it asks for Native English Speakers (I know it only said English, but that's because "speakers" didn't fit anymore...), the thing I'm asking, more begging, those Native Englsih speakers to do is to judge my speech!

So I don't really care weither your native language isn't English or not, but please note that it is very important IF you want to judge! Also please note that if you're judging, ask a question afterwards please!
If you judge please include the following:

- Content of speech (is the information convincing?)
- Grammar (am I using the grammar rules accordingly?)
- Are the answers related to the questions? (what's 1+1? Well I know that 4+4=8, get it?)
- Politeness (I know this is hard as it mostly will be speech written, things I can implent speaking the audiance doesn't know of)
- Overall (isn't it boring you?)

Please give all the points a rating 1/10, add those numbers and please calculate the average for me!

So here's what this topic i all about, the speech:



Humour and work. That were the two subjects we had to choose from, and I liked both of them, although I prefer humour over work, but still. So I thought of doing a kind of combination of those two, why wouldn’t that be do-able?

How about work that requires humour? Or while you’re working some jokes in between, just in order to keep things fun? Humour also is about making jokes, aren’t I right?

I think that it is possible, no I KNOW it is possible. I know because my arguments speak for themselves.

So the kick-off, work requires humour.

I think that all of you know about step-up-comedians. Guido Weyers and Jochem myjer. That job sure requires at least some sense of humour, right? Till this far, is there someone who doesn’t agree with me?
No?
Good.

Let’s continue. Now you ask me, are there more jobs than just step-up-comedian? The answer to that question is yes. How about the Clini-Clowns? I also know that most of you watch commercials once in a while. And I also know that most of you will remember the following commercial,

Technology evolves rapidly. We can barely keep up with that pace. Now you see 2 elderly people wanting to water their plants in their greenhouse… but they want to water it with a high pressure hose. Now guess what happens, they kind of blow the greenhouse up, because the pressure is kind of high.
Or when 2 people are following a computer course they read the instruction out load saying: put your mouse in the upper right corner, and then they put the mouse on their monitor, in the up right corner.

So I think that some jobs sure do require some cense of humour. So, if someone can’t prove me wrong right now then that means I’m right.
…
Great!

So now the second part of the speech;
Are we able to combine humour with work?


Employees coming to work with a face like; I don’t want to, I feel sick, I don’t like this, I want to go home.
Will sicken the nice atmosphere that was at work that day. This is because now everyone doesn’t want to, feels sick, doesn’t like thing and wants to go home.

But now if the opposite happened and everyone is sick and doesn’t want to etc etc.
An employee comes to work like this: Gooooood morning everyone, nice tie, oewww nice shoes, you look good today.
I bet that everyone will be happy in no-time. I even would dare to put a bet of a couple of Euros on that.

So now you are thinking; so oke, what does this have to do with humour combined with work?

Let’s make an equation to clear things up a bit.

First of all, do you people agree with me that humour equals fun?
Precisely, it does.
Now again, fun equals jokes and compliments, as compliments are fun to hear, right?
Exactly! This is what I’m talking about!

So now I’m going to ask you my question again; are we able to combine work with humour and humour with work?
I think so. I did so when I started to speak and now, when I’m finished, I still am!

This was my speech; I hope you enjoyed it and if you have some questions left feel free to ask them. I will try to answer them as good as possible.


Amand Stevens A3B

Hey, I'll write your entire speech for you (i've done stand up comedy before) but only if you give me your beta key... hehehehe.

too bad Sinistha XD I don't have a beta key ;P and even if I would have one, that's the speech I'm going to do, it has already been checked in class, but I want to hear what you people think about it.
Also, this would be the level of writing the speech should be build on. It doesn't need it to become very luxery. Thanks for the offer but no, I have to stick to this speech and only small adjustments are allowed to make

I went to a public speaking comp this month.
Do something you know heaps on about. Have a topic that cna convince people, like buy this or this is the only way or what ever. Use emotion to target the person, look in their eyes. Or you can use technical that can persway tham using facts. Make em have a good image oif you. Don't us palm cards that much.Be confident in yourself .Thats the basics.
If you don't understand my writing well haha.

no worry I can read it xD

The thing is, I can't look 300 people straight in the eye. That's a very tiny little bit time consuming, don't you think?
Also, we only need to talk like 2 minutes, not much more... So in Word this are 2 pages of text (with lots of space between 2 alinea's) and if I speak slowly I think I'll be getting there any time soon. As speaking slowly is really difficult for me xD
why we need to talk slowly? Well... We are "stars" in English, but our parents and grandparents and sisters and brothers who are going to listen, certainly are not XD

The key to a good speech isn't necessarily the content. It's how you motivate the people to your cause. Speak with a bold and powerful voice, make direct eye contact, and imitate Obama. That's how I won my school speech contest.

This may be to late for you but, meh.
If you can't look at 300 people in the eyes than look at the judges in the eyes, they give you the points. Also have a average speed of talk. Make em laugh, make em cry, be the ring leader (u get the point.
1 thing you must remember, if you don't have this element you won't go far. Be confident, believe in yourself and anything is possible (maybe not everything).

lol @ Dark Prelate

not everything is possible indeed
it's not too late. i can't look the jury in the eyes, not constant at least. The reason for this is that they are sitting on the side of the audiance. Looking them constantly in the eyes will, uhm, look a little stupid/funny.
I'm pretty confident that I'll will do just fine. When the class needed to vote for the one who is going to represent the class, I got 16 of the 19 votes.
Also I made the class laugh when doing my speech, as I don't speak monotone. Although I prefer not to make them cry... That will give some problems xD

Oke so the planned date of speaking is 8th of December. Bare with me guys! As this is a change to impres my girlfriend (she won last year, but I didn't compete back then) and also to let others know that I'm not the s*itbag they think I am.

Alright, I don't know how old you are or where you are from which, unfortunately, makes a HUGE difference. 'Proper' writing styles differ greatly from one region to another and age will determine what vocabulary is appropriate, but this is a quick 5 minute critic from a 20 year old American male. By no means take this as the end all be all. Just my humble opinion, which doesn't mean much considering I haven't taken and English class in like 3 years.

Quote by ringgeest11

So here's what this topic i all about, the speech:


Humour and work. That were the two subjects we had to choose from, and I liked both of them, although I prefer humour over work, but still. So I thought of doing a kind of combination of those two, why wouldn’t that be do-able?

Get rid of the and in the first sentence. Should be THOSE were the two... sentence is very passive, use active sentences. do-able is a poor word choice (because it's slang). Also, no one cares what ou like, just tell them how it is. Prentend what you say is fact, no opinion.
Now, I'm not saying this is whay you should say, this is just my example:

Conventions dictate that I speak to you today on one of two opposing subjects: humorwork. But I ask you, are these contrasts really separate entities, void of any likeness? I would argue that is not the case....and so on.

Quote by ringgeest11

How about work that requires humour? Or while you’re working some jokes in between, just in order to keep things fun? Humour also is about making jokes, aren’t I right?

I think that it is possible, no I KNOW it is possible. I know because my arguments speak for themselves.

I really don't like this part at all. Maybe just stay that you infact declare that work requires humor and that it's conceivable that not everyone lives in the droll confines of the orthodox.

Quote by ringgeest11

So the kick-off, work requires humour.

I think that all of you know about step-up-comedians. Guido Weyers and Jochem myjer. That job sure requires at least some sense of humour, right? Till this far, is there someone who doesn’t agree with me?
No?
Good.

Let’s continue. Now you ask me, are there more jobs than just step-up-comedian? The answer to that question is yes. How about the Clini-Clowns? I also know that most of you watch commercials once in a while. And I also know that most of you will remember the following commercial,

Don't ask if they agree with you. What you say is fact, they MUST agree with you. Don't say 'now you ask.' Just continue on with examples. Example: My argument extends beyond those who self proclaim their affinity to laughter. example 1, example 2....

Quote by ringgeest11

Technology evolves rapidly. We can barely keep up with that pace. Now you see 2 elderly people wanting to water their plants in their greenhouse… but they want to water it with a high pressure hose. Now guess what happens, they kind of blow the greenhouse up, because the pressure is kind of high.
Or when 2 people are following a computer course they read the instruction out load saying: put your mouse in the upper right corner, and then they put the mouse on their monitor, in the up right corner.

I don't see how this helps your argument.

Quote by ringgeest11

So I think that some jobs sure do require some cense of humour. So, if someone can’t prove me wrong right now then that means I’m right.
…
Great!

Once again, you ARE right.

Quote by ringgeest11

So now the second part of the speech;
Are we able to combine humour with work?


Employees coming to work with a face like; I don’t want to, I feel sick, I don’t like this, I want to go home.
Will sicken the nice atmosphere that was at work that day. This is because now everyone doesn’t want to, feels sick, doesn’t like thing and wants to go home.

But now if the opposite happened and everyone is sick and doesn’t want to etc etc.
An employee comes to work like this: Gooooood morning everyone, nice tie, oewww nice shoes, you look good today.
I bet that everyone will be happy in no-time. I even would dare to put a bet of a couple of Euros on that.

So now you are thinking; so oke, what does this have to do with humour combined with work?

Let’s make an equation to clear things up a bit.

First of all, do you people agree with me that humour equals fun?
Precisely, it does.
Now again, fun equals jokes and compliments, as compliments are fun to hear, right?
Exactly! This is what I’m talking about!

So now I’m going to ask you my question again; are we able to combine work with humour and humour with work?
I think so. I did so when I started to speak and now, when I’m finished, I still am!

This was my speech; I hope you enjoyed it and if you have some questions left feel free to ask them. I will try to answer them as good as possible.


Amand Stevens A3B

For the last part I woulld just talk about how awful the lives are of people who trudge through the monotony of their solomn lives.

Quote by ringgeest11

I prefer humour over work, but still.

No. No. No no no.

Don't use slang (which in this case is the 'but still'). A better word would be 'but regardless', which in turn would mean that you have to combine the next two sentences.

My dad's an English teacher, so I have to know this sort of thing xD

oke thanks for the feedback guys! will be working on it real quick.

Also, I'm 14 years old and we live in the Netherlands. The teacher who gave us the assignment said: "It is like having a conversation with the audiance, the only thing is, they don't talk back." This maybe is a little bit weird in the US, but asking the audiance rethoric questions can raise your mark pretty damn much...